Still Green Peace To Me
by collegegurl12
Summary: Look inside for full summary...Emma has changed over a spane of a year and she'll never be the same. Others are ok with that except the last person she'd of ever thought...maybe jayemma
1. DisclimarSummary

**Disclaimer:** No I do not own Degrassi. Cause if I did I would so be on that show and me and Jay would so hook up..lol. Plus Emma would of never broken up with Sean and she would of never dated Peter..ewww! lol..So nah I'm just a fan and I just love to write fan fiction...a lot. Plus I love to read it too!

**Summary:** I really right now don't know where this story is heading, but I know that its gonna be about Emma. And how much she had changed over the past year and how it effects everyone and not just here. She's turned in to a slutty er version of Manny. She sleeps around and drinks, parties and gets into a hell of lot of trouble..lol'

_(A better summary later I promise)_

_ok some things have changed.._

_Emma is in the 10th grade_

_Baby Jack is dead... and Spike and Snake have split up_

_Sean still goes to Degrassi, and Jimmy is in a wheelchair._


	2. Introduction

Here I was laying on my couch with Sean stretched out behind me. With only a thin white sheet covering our naked bodies. Who would of guessed that little miss perfect would ever be caught like this. A year from now I would of called you crazy, but now I would be surprised what happens next. My back was pressed up against his bare chest and his left arm was wrapped tightly around my waist. As if he was afraid I might try and run in the middle of the night. His other arm was under my head offering as a pillow. Well both of my arms were pulled up against my chest. I didn't plan on doing it with him when we first went out tonight. But like I said I never know what I'll do next...I'm not that same little girl I was in 9th grade. No I've grown up and nobody can take me down.

His soft breathing proves to me that he's a sleep. I can feel his uneven breath on the back of my neck making the hairs stand up. At least somebody could go to sleep. I cant sleep anymore...I'm always up. Very gently I move his arm from under my head and start working on his other arm. Just as I get it almost off he tightens his hold and pulls me closer.

"You weren't trying to sneak away now were you?" He asked in a sleepy voice.

"No I just need to go pee." I half lied. Cause in fact I did need to pee but I also needed to get away from his arms...away from him. I hate being closed to a guy after we had sex. Something about it makes me sick.

"Well hurry up and come on back." He replied rubbing his palm across my tight stomach.

I shivered from the contact and sat up. Stretching my arms above my head I smiled when I felt him harden against me. Standing up I grab his big, black wife beater shirt and slipped it on. It came just to my thighs but covered everything that needed to be covered. I heard him groan from behind me as I walked across the stained grey carpet. Quickly running up the stairs I opened the bathroom door and closed it. Making sure to lock it before I turned on the light.

My reflection stared back at me, making my heart stop. I had changed so much over a year and I hated my new look, but everyone else loves it. My hair had changed from blond to dark brown, with lighter highlights. Yes I wear contacts most days. I usually wear the green contacts but violet are also my favorite. Lifting up the wife beater I look at my ugly body. I had lost a lot of weight...so much that my bones were sticking out everywhere. But I still wasn't happy. I wanted to be skinny and I just wasn't. I don't think I'll ever be skinny, but I won't give up trying till I am.

"Emma baby..hurry up! I'm getting cold without." That meant he was up and ready for more..I quickly unlocked the door and ran down the stairs jumping into his awaiting arms. I wrapped my legs around his toned waist and he brought his lips down on to mine...


	3. Still green peace

I don't really remember why I changed I just did. It could be from when Spike and Snake split up, but I don't like blaming my problems on them. I just woke up one day and I knew my life would forever be different from that day forward. I started hanging with Manny once again and we both stayed out late, drinking, doing the 'cool shit'. She was the sex god of the school and I was her little follower. It didn't bother me at first cause I got all her left overs, but after a while I wanted more. I wanted to be the 'It girl'. So I changed into more sexier clothes and started getting really freaky. Dancing top less on the lunch table. Having wild sex in the principles office. At first everyone thought I had gone crazy. With Sean coming back to Degrassi and everything that had happened, but then they just realized I had changed.

"Em?'' Spikes voice broke me out of my train of thought. Shaking my head a little I looked around at my surroundings and saw I was in the kitchen standing by the door. "Em...?" Spike repeated again making me look up at her through violet eyes. "Are you ok sweetie? You were standing there for a while."

"Um..yeah mom sorry." I replied rubbing a hand over my tired eyes. Treading over to the table I throw myself in a empty seat and place my head in my hands. Man I feel like shit! I needed my painkillers but mom was completely out. The 'docter' as she calls him gave her painkillers for her headaches and sleeping pills after the split up. Mom was a complete wreck, hell she still is. Feeling a gentle hand on my shoulder I look up and give a weak smile.

"You want to stay home sweetie?" She asked me, her voice not hiding away how sad she truly is.

"Nah mom..I just have a headache." I lied. Pushing the chair back I stand up. Bending down I grab my books off the table from where I left them Friday. I headed to the doorway but stoped. I didn't turned around but I could feel Spikes eyes on me. "I...i lo...I'll see ya later ok." I rush out before the tears could fall. I practically jogged to the front door and rushed out..Totally forgetting to grab my jacket. It was the middle of November and I had on a small pink tube top and low rise jeans. Throwing my books down on the porch I start off down the sidewalk. I've stoped caring about my school work. I carry by books out of the house and I always throw them down knowing mom wont look..She never comes outside anymore anyways.

What happened back there usually happens everyday. Mom pleads with me to stay home and I always say no..Just before I leave I try to say I love you, but I can never get it out. Not after everything that has happened. I know mom blames herself for loosing Snake and baby Jake. A few months from now baby Jake came down with a cold. Well mom just thought it was that a normal flue..so she stayed home watching him..Later that night she woke up and he was breathing. Found out he had some rare sickness and it was treatable. So mom is really taking it hard.

As a gush of wind blows my way I wrap my arms around my stomach. Trying to offer some warmth. Taking the hair tie off my arm I tie my hair up in a bun, trying to keep it out of my eyes. I was walking for about a minute before I heard a car honk. Thinking it was meant for someone else I ignored it and continued my walk. Just as I turned the corner the car moved up right beside me. Some kind of rap song blared out from the speakers, making the old rusty car shake.

"Yo green peace wanna hitch a ride?" A familiar voice yelled over the music. If you can even call that music. A sudden chill ran down my spine at the sound of that voice. Only one person I knew would ever call me green peace still after everything I had done. Turning my head sharply toward him I glared through violet eyes.

"Why would I ever get in a car with you?" Once that question left my mouths I mentally slapped myself. I had gotten in cars with him far to many times to count.

"Oh come on babe. You know your always up for a ride in my car." He said sarcastically with a sly smirk on his face.

"Shut it Jay before I make you." I said walking even quicker just trying to get away from him.

"Just get in the damn car." He said turning off the music. I can hear the anger start to seep its way in his voice.

"Just stay out of my life." I throw back at him before turning the corner to Degrassi. I hear him curse before driving away, but not toward the school like I was going no he was heading in the other direction. Shaking my head I rush up the stairs catching a few cat calls and whistles from the guys satting on the steps. I give them a wave and smile sweetly at them before pushing open the doors.

Degrassi...The school held some many dark secrets behind these closed doors. A few of them mine. Ellie first got caught cutting here. Sean first stealed here and meet Jay. Me and Alex got into right here in these halls...but none of them takes the cake to Rick bringing the gun. But without Degrassi I don't think anyone of us would be whole.

"Emma!" Manny yells as she jogs over to me. It seemed like the crowd of students in the hall moves out of the way for her. She stops standing in front of me. In her hands in a flyer of some sort. "Did you see this?" She asked shoving the flyer in my face, still grinning like crazy.

Blinking a few times I grab the flyer from her hands. Bringing it a little farther away from my face I read it. In bright orange and lime green letters read, 'For the time of your life and if you just wanna get high. Drop by Chester's house around 8:00.' Under neath it was a picture of him and his brothers smoking lord knows what. Looking back up at Manny I instantly knew why she was grinning. "He asked you himself didn't he?"

"Yep and he asked me if you would come to." Rolling my eyes I told her I would drop by for a while before pushing past her and heading off to my locker. Don't get me wrong me and Manny still talk from time to time. But were not as close as we use to be...I don't think we'll ever be that close again. Stopping at my locker I turned in the combination and yanked open the locker. A small piece of paper glided out and landed on the floor. Bending down I grab it and smiled at the handwriting.

**Hey babe, meet me in the janitor's closet**

**at the start of school.**

**xo TJ.**

TJ. My fling of the week as you can put it. He was a new kid at school and well damn was he hot. Short jet black hair, intense green eyes, and lord did he have the body. Muscles everywhere you look! Throwing the paper back in the locker I grab my white purse off the shelve and unzip it. Must look my best for my men. Taking out a stick of red ruby lipstick I apply it to my full lips. After redoing the rest of my make-up I slammed my locker shut and head off to the janitor's closet just as the bell rang.


	4. TJ's nose meets Jay's fist

Pulling my tube top back on, I fixed my hair as I opened the door. The halls were empty with everyone in class so I didn't need to worry of anyone seeing us. Running a hand through my hair I feel a slight tug at the end of it. Turning around I wrap my arms around TJ and he wraps his around my neck.

"Mmm..' He moans into my mouth as our lips connect. 'I had so much fun baby...maybe we could do this again sometime?" He asked hopefully.

I loved having guys beg me...it makes me feel powerful. "I don't know baby. We'll have to wait and see." I reply removing my arms from around him and taking a few steps back, only to have my body hit something hard. Arms came from behind me and wrapped tightly around my slim waist. Tight enough to bloke any movement, but not enough to hurt me. I didn't have to bother turning around I could tell from TJ's hard stare who it was instantly...Jay.

"Would you mind removing your arms from **my **girl." TJ hissed between clenched teeth. I could feel my anger slowly start to rise. Who was he to call me his! Sure we did have sex but damn that doesnt mean anything, at all. I mean hell I had sex with Jay and you don't see him putting a claim on me.

I could feel Jay's arm tighten a little tighter and his breath hitched at the word 'my'. I knew he was thinking the same thing I was, and that brought a smirk to my lips. "Who the hell are you?" He asked in a calm voice. But I knew. Knew that it all was an act he was ready to blow any minute.

"I'm TJ, and that there is my girl so I would mind if you'd take your hands off her!" He hissed once again. My eyes traveled down his arms and saw that his fists were balled together so tightly that his knuckles were white.

I felt one of Jay's hand loosen just enough that he could move it. He ran his palm over my bare stomach taking pleasure in how goosebumps spread over the area he touched. "What if I don't want to?" Jay asked with a teasing twinkle in his eyes. Oh, no here it goes.

TJ took a few steps forward his body tensed. Sure he was muscler and was around 5'8..but he was still no match to Jay's 6'0 solid hard body. Jay could floor him in a instant and we all knew it. I felt Jay move me beside him out of 'harms' way. He still kept an arm around my waist but his other arm was free just in case he did have to punch him. "Emma come here." TJ commanded me in a stern voice. Like I was some three year old being bad. **Nobody** and I mean nobody tells me what to do!

I was about to open my mouth but Jay beat me too. With a smart remark. "Make her." He challenged. Knowing perfectly well that if TJ even came close to pulling me from Jay he would be on the ground in matter of seconds.

TJ turned his heated gaze away from and back to Jay. "I wasn't speaking to you.' His eyes returned to me. 'Emma get your ass over here now!" He yelled..all he needed to do was stomp his foot and he could pass as a spoiled brat.

I felt Jay drop his arm from around my waist. Looking up at him I saw his jaw was set, and his eyes had turned black...they only turn black when he's very angry. I guess all the joking was done. "Don't you fucking talk to her like that!" Jay hissed in a calm voice.

"Don't you tell me what to do!" TJ steped past Jay and reached for me. His eyes had harden to the point of being slits and his muscles were tensed. As he reached for me I moved back..where was that gentle boy just a few moments ago? He reached again for me and this time he had a hold of my wrist. He started tugging me toward him when Jay steped in between us.

"Let her go." TJ ignored him witch was the wrong thing to do. Jay brought his fist back and aimed right for TJ's nose. The sound that echoed through the quiet hall made my stomach tighten. He had broken his nose in one punch. TJ's hands flew up to his face.

"You asshole you broke my nose!" He stretched before turning around and running toward the bathroom. Damn did he have a nice face and now Jay had ruined it.

A small chuckle escaped the silent of the air. Turning sharply toward Jay I saw him holding his stomach well laughing. "You jerk." I muttered before walking past him.

"Hey! Green peace what the fuck!" He yelled jogging to catch up with my long strides.

"Jay you had no right to even start with him! Let alone punch him in the fuckin face!" I hollered throwing my hands up in the air. Groaning I rubbed my hand over my face..thanking god that I forgot my eyeliner today.

"Hey, hey green peace." Jay said softer then I've ever heard him use..Taking my hands from my face he held them between his two rough palms. "Yo I didn't mean anything by it. It was on my shit list from the day he walked in through the doors." He said rubbing my knuckles with his long fingers.

At first it felt good to be held by Jay again, but then my mind remembered everything he's put me through. Yanking my hands free from his. I took a few steps back out of his range. His face took on a look of hurt for just a second before turning back to his normal smug look. "Just...just stay away from me ok. Go back to stealing with Sean!" I hissed out my eyes softening a little at the mention of Sean before I fled the sense. Lavigne Jay standing there hurt all alone...like he had left me many times before.


	5. Jay Realizes

"Emma, earth to Emma." I hear Paige say my name snapping me out of my thoughts. Turning to her I see she's got an annoyed look on her face and she was tapping her hands impenitently on the table at the dot. "Did you hear anything I was saying!" She asked me, her eyes holding anger even though a smile stayed plastered to her face.

"What?" I asked running a hand over my eyes feeling so tired.

"Doll you really need to get your act together or you'll be going through this year friendless like last." She said pushing back her chair and standing up. Picking up her purse she told Hazel to come on, and they both walked toward the door. Just as she started to open the door it was shoved open and in walked a group of loud boys. I heard her tell them to grow up before she left. Groaning I slammed my head onto the table only to have it gently picked back up.

"You know you should do that I heard you'll lose brain cells that way." I heard amused male voice say from above me.

Looking up I saw the smirking face of Chester. He had let his hair grow out over the summer making it come down to his ears, and he had definitely grown taller since I last saw him. "I think I have a few brain cells to loan away." I said laughing a little at the look he gave me.

"So,' he grabed the chair from the other table and spinedit backwards so he was leaning on the back.'you coming to my party tonight?" He asked me with a hopeful look on his face.

Sighing what else did I have to do stay home with mom and hear her cry no I'll pass. "Sure I'll be there Chester it should be fun." I said hearing Chester;s brothers calling for him. "You better go before they think you've been abducted." I say before standing up myself and walking out the door. Just as I opened the door I heard Chester yell out to me 'Cant wait to see ya tonight Em.' I just sighed before walking out of the dot and toward my home.

"Hurry up Em and just pick a fricken outfit!" Came the annoyed voice of Manny who was currently laying on my bed painting her nails some cherry red color. I was standing in front of my mirror with about all my clothes from my closet laying in a pile beside my feet.

Turning to her I sighed. Holding up a light blue jean skirt I asked for the hundredth time what dose she think. "Em hunny what I think is if u don't find an outfit soon, you'll be going fricken naked!" She yelled slamming the nail polish closed and laying it on my nightstand.

Shaking my head if only she knew that I would somehow end up naked later on tonight. Picking up a white wife beater shirt I ran to the bathroom to change and quickly apply some make-up. It took in all about an half a hour to get done, and now as were walking to Chester's Manny wont even look at me. She's just pissed cause I kept her from her boy of the week. Who was this week, oh yeah Spinner. Mr. I got Rick killed but now after a year I'm feeling guilt. Manny quickened her pace just as Spin came out of the house and stumbled down the stairs. She ran to him and jumped in his arms smiling as he spined her around. Maybe Spinner was good at something making Manny happy.

I walked past them making sure to nod a hi to them. Walking into the room smoked filled my nose making my eyes start to water. Quickly as I could I pushed my way through the crowed and into the kitchen feeling less dizzy. "Em.." I heard a voice call but couldn't figure out where it was coming from. "Em, Emma!" A voice shouted at me till I finally turned around seeing Chester standing on the doorway smirking at me.

"Chester my man!" I hollered at him over the loud blaring music. Making my way toward him I sliped my arms around his neck, feeling his hands cover my small waist. "So tell me what will your big bad parents say about this party your throwing?" I asked him with a sly smile on my face.

"My parents don't control me Ms. Nelson." He said adding my last name witch made us both crack up. He stared at me for a moment straight into the eyes before he moved back a little, and grabed my right hand. He grazed his thumb over my knuckles and smiled at me. "Why don't we go somewhere quiet, a little private."

I looked around my surroundings and saw a few drunks leaning up against the wall watching them with hard eyes. Probably looking for a few show. I turned to them and licked my lips, winking before grabbing Chester's hand. "Come on baby lets go down to your room." I lead Chester down the few steps it took to get to his basement room witch was small but could hold about three people. He had a small bed near the far wall, and a desk right beside it with his computer on it. I slowly started to kiss him pushing him onto his back on the bed. He ran his tongue over my bottom lip getting me to open my mouth. After making out for a few minutes I broke apart and started to pull his shirt up over his head.

He lifted his arms over his head making it easier for me to take his shirt off. He quickly started to undo his belt and sliped his pants off. Leaving him in nothing but his red boxers. I ran my hands down his thighs and up them getting a moan escaping through is parted full lips. "You like that don't you?" I questioned him not waiting for answer as I touched his package. Just as I about to pull Chester's boxers down the door flew open and two drunken voices rang out through the quiet room.

"Shh it looks like someones getting it on down here." A girls voice whispered to her companion.

"Lets go break them up!" A voice slurred running down the steps only to stop frozen in his tracks. Standing in his full attire was Jay with his mouth hanging open in shock. I was still on Chester and he still had his boxers on but he had a annoyed look on his face. Alex walked slowly down the steps and laid a heavy hand on Jay's shoulder.

"Wow! Its tree hugger and Chester. Who would of guess?" She asked out loud staring at Jay who looked like he was breathing. "You ok Jay." She asked before stumbling over to Chester's desk and falling onto the desk chair. Her legs were kicked high in the air and she looked to be falling backwards chair and all. But she caught herself and started to laugh.

I finally came back to my senses after all this had happened and quickly scrambled off of Chester. Grabbing my top that somehow ended up on the floor I sliped it on and gave Chester a sorry look. Walking toward the door I felt Jay shove his shoulder into mine. Not really caring right now I kept my head held high as I walked out of the house and over towards mine.

JAY

I couldn't believe in a matter of hours I have caught her with two different guys! I mean sure I did the same fuckin shit they're doing with her but with us it was different. Every time I felt something with Greenpeace. Something I never felt with another girl I did anything with, not even Alex. Who has been with me since the start of high school. So when I walk into school just to bump in to her coming out of the janitors closet yes I was pissed. Yes I bashed his nose in too. You cant really blame me though. So now as I still standing frozen place watching Chester try to pull on his pants, I can feel my hands ball up into fists.

So as my feet move on they're on toward Chester I could help but take pleasure in the scared look he has on his face. I reach down and grab him by the collar of his shirt, that he had just thrown on. Bringing him close to my face I glare at him. "You listen good Chester cause I'm only going to say it once!" He shook his head yes. "Good boy. You are to **never **touch Emma, **never **look at her, and **never** talk to anybody about what happened down here with you two!" I yelled at him before showing him back on the bed and running up the stairs. I searched the whole house for Greenpeace but she had already let. Shaking my head I grabed the nearest cup of liquid trying to numb the searing pain through my heart.


	6. Thoughts From Emma

Dont ask me what I was thinking when I was down there with Chester. It was just the thrill of being with him, knowing that anybody could come in and catch us. But why? Why in gods name did it have to be Jay! The way he looked at me made me feel cheap. No lower then cheap. All those times with those other boys I never felt anything. I was numbed. But when Jay looked at me I felt low, like I cared what he though about me. No thats crazy I would never care what Jay thinks. "Argg!" I yelled pulling at my hair. I must look so crazy. Standing here in the middle of the street with my clothes half on, and screaming like a weirdo.

"Emma? Emma is that you?" A voice screamed from the house in front of me. Looking up I saw my mom leaning against the open door way looking at me with a natural expression. Like she sees me everyday acting like this.

"Nothing mom." I tell her walking up the small path to the house. "I was just coming inside." I push past her and walk inside.

"Emma!" She grips my arm and pulls me to a stop. Making me turn to look at her. "Whats gotten into you?" She leans closer so she wouldnt have to raise her voice and thats when she makes a weird face. "Have you been drinking Emma Nelson?" She asks shocked like it was some big deal.

"Yes mother I have been and I'll drink more if I damn well want to!" I hiss at her pulling my arm from her grasp and run down to my room. The basement. i know what normal teenager has her room as a basement. Well sorry to burst your bubble but I'm no normal teenager. Slamming the door shut I lock it before throwing myself on the bed. "Argg!" I scream into my comforter.

Standing up I pulled down my skirt and kicked my shoes off across the room. I was left in my white beater shirt and a pair of boys blue boxers. Walking over to my computer desk I picked up the small purple notebook laying on it and took it back to my bed. Fliping to the next empty page I picked up the pen inside and started writing. I wrote for about an hour before my eye lids started closeing on there own. Tucking the book underneath my pillow I turned off the bed side lamp and fell into dreamless sleep.

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The next day I didnt wake to my alarm clock. No I was awoken by pounding on my window above my bed. Groaning I lifted my head and saw Manny bending down, tapping on the window. Rolling my eyes I slowly stood up and pulled open my window. "What!" I hissed out before clutching my head in pain. Damn I hate hangovers.

"Emma! Do you know what time it is?" I twisted around and saw 12:20 flashing on my clock. "Its lunch time and your coming to school." (sorry if I got there lunch time wrong my bad lol)

I look at her strangley for a moment before pushing the window back down. No sooner then I had laid back down on the bed did the tapping start back up. "Emma. You need to get to school like now!" She yelled.

"Fuck!" I screamed into my pillow before pushing myself up. Yanking open the window again I stared at her. "Why do I need to get to school?" I asked her with annoyence in my voice.

"Cause Jay's beating the fuck out of Chester!" She snaped making me look up sharpley. "Exactly. Now go get changed and quick!" She made a motion with her hand toward my closet. Giving her one last look I jumped up and ran to my closet. Grabing the first pair of pants that I could find I sliped them on and jumped into my shoes. Deciding to crawl out the window was easier then getting into it with mom again. Manny helped me out and both of us ran to school.

**A/N:**_I know I took forever! and longer to make this chapter. But I promise I'll try and keep the chapters coming faster. Ok so I want to say thank you to all my faithful reviewers who actually love this story. That came as a surprise to me lol.. I thought this story wouldnt even get one review none the less 20. ok well this chapter may be short but it works dosent it. Later_


	7. Ball Meet Facelol

**A/N:**_Haha..Look another chapter in the same day! aint it cool lol..well heres the story_

**(Jay's POV!)**

I woke up with a fuckin major headache. Never am I going to drink just to erase Nelson! Damn dose she make my head ache. Groaning I rolled over and released somebody else was in the bed with me. My eyes widen for a mer second till I realized that other person was Alex. Lifting my hand up I ran it over my tired eyes and stood up. Not careing if I woke Alex up or not. Just as I was about to walk into the kitchen her voice stoped me.

"Forgetting somehing?" She asked making me turn around. I saw her dangleing my boxers from her pinkey finger. "Want me to help put them on?" She asked in what she thought was a sedcutive voice. Witch only made me sick to my stomach.

"No!" I growled out graping them from her. Quickly putting them on I made my way to the kitchen. I started to put on a coffee when my eyes saw the clock on the stove. 12:00 flashed bright red in my eyes. Wonder what Nelson's doing now? Probably having lunch with her goody to shoes friends. Or she could be giving whats his fuckin name a quick shag in the closet again. OR! This time it could be Chester! Damn the opions just keep getting better.

Feeling myself getting angry I slammed my fist down on the stove making up my mind. Runing back to my room I shuffled around on the floor for a few seconds till I came back with my shirt and jeans. Putting them on in record time I grabed my signature hat off the bed post and made it to the bedroom door. "Oh Alex." I said causeing her too look up at me with a hopeful look. "Get out of my damn house!" I yelled smirking when she gave me the bird before standing up completly nude. Yeah right, like that would get me all turned on. Shaking my head I run out the room and jumped into my car.

It only took me around 10 minutes to get to the school. And when I pulled up in my orange civic with the music blaring all heads turned. Yeah fuckers thats right Jay's actually in school. Turning off the car I got out and leaned against it. Scanning over the many faces I didnt see Nelson but I did see Santos flirting with some guy in a letterman jacket. That's right Santos flirt it all up. Placeing a evil smirk on my face I stroled toward her.

I slung an arm over her shoulder. "Yo Santos what's going on?" I asked her keeping my gaze on the tall aletich guy in front of me. "Who's this?" I asked her tightening my hold on her shoulder just a little.

"Ja..Jay what the hell!" She about screamed. Pulling out of my hold she grabed my arm and shoved me away from the guy. "I'll just be a moment." She whispered to him giving him a bright smile that would make million men fall to there knees. "Jay what do you think your doing back there!"

"Where's Nelson?" I asked getting straight to the point.

A confused look comes to her face for a moment till she answers me. "Oh you mean Emma!"

"No I ment the other envormental weirdo with the last name Nelson running around here!" I snaped at her feeling already dumb coming here.

She raised her hand as to slap me but she stoped in mid raise. "Why do you want to know anyways?" She asked me placeing her hand back to her side.

I give her a glare before walking away from here. I stomp my way back to my car but before I get there I hear _his_ voice. A shot of anger seeps through me chilling my spine. I turn around slowly like in one of those scary movies where the killer turns slowly and brings a gun out and shoots you. I see him talking to some of his friends by the bench near the basketball court. I strole casually over to them and start to ease drop.

_"Man she was **all** over me!" Chester said gaining high fives and shouts from his friends._

_"Was she everything everybodys been saying she is?" The one with spiked red hair asked._

_"Yeah.." Chester said leaning in closer to his pack of wovles. "She wasnt that good of a fuck."_

Wasnt a good fuck! Man she was the best I had! Jay saw a loan basketball laying on the side near the fence and got a bright idea. That loser's going to pay for what hes starting. He quickly snatched up the ball in his clutches and walked up behind Chester. Taping Chester on the back of the shoulder he smirked when Chester turned around.

"What!" She snaped being angry about getting cut off.

"This!" Jay brought the ball to his chest and heaved it toward's Chesters face. You'd think a player on the basketball court would have better reflects. But no he just sat there in shock as the ball came toward his face.

**A/N:**_Cliff hanger! I know it sucks. This chapter may of been way confusing but give me a break its 11:02 at night here and I'm tired, But I though I'd write these two chapters for you guys lol. How kind_


	8. Hating Jay

**(Emma's POV)**

When we finally made it to school lunch was way over. But all the students were still out on the court yard. Hearing cheers of _'fight, fight, fight'_. I groaned turning my head side ways to give Manny a glare.

"What!" She yelled at me throwing her hands up in the air. "I didn't start this miss let's fuck everything that moves!" She hissed pointing a accusing finger at me. "You need to go and break it up! Then you and Jay need to have a serious talk." She walked behind me and gave me a forceful shove, that almost sent me crashing to the ground if it wasn't for me catching my balance. I glared at her real mean like before jogging over toward the crowd of hyper students.

"Move! Get out of the way! Shove off!" I hissed through clenched teeth shoving my way through till I got up front. I saw Jay bending over Chester who was currently laying on the ground with Jay's fist slamming over and over again at his face. Snapping out of my trance I screamed surprising everyone around me.

"Jay!" I yelled as loud as I could trying to be heard over the crowd's cheers. He must of heard me this time cause he stoped with his fist hovering over Chester's eye. He twisted around just a little so he could see out of the corner of his eye, but not turning his back on Chester. I saw his jaw lock and he sighed before letting his arm drop. Everyone around us groaned with displeasure and started to walk away. Leaving Jay, me and Chester alone. I walked over to him and laid a comforting hand on his back. He was panting hard with every breath he took.

"Jay listen to me. You need to let Chester go and get out of here." I said very calmly not wanting to make him go off for some unnone reason.

"He deserved it!" He hissed turning his face toward me. His eyes were black as night with rage dancing in them. He was super pissed and for a reason I don't know. He turned back to Chester just as quickly and kicked him hard on the side. Making Chester curl up with a whimper. "You fucker."

My eyes widen before I grabed Jay's arm and tried to pull him back. Let me just say Jay is like a wall when he wants to be. He will **NOT** move for nothing. "Come on baby please." I whispered to him. Hoping that my words of comfort will get through his thick skull and work. "Lets get in your car and take a drive somewhere ok." I said letting my fingers draw circles on his back. I felt him stiffen for just a second and then relax. But that second of stiffness hurt me for some reason. Why would he not want me touching him?

"Your lucky, you hear that." He growled giving him one last hard kick to the ribs. Grabbing my hand in a tight grip he quickly power walked to his civic. He shoved me hard against the passenger seat and yanked open his driver door. Jumping in he gave me a pointed look. "Get in!" He growled.

Sighing I opened the door and got in. I gave him one look before backing up quickly. He speed off leaving a cloud of dust behind us. We drove in silence for a good ten minutes till we pulled up at the ravine. He parked and shut off the car. Still not speaking he laid his arms on the steering wheel and his head on his arms. Taking a few calming breaths he stared ahead.

I unbuckled and moved closer to him still not touching him. "Babe." I said just above a whisper gently running my index finger down his arm. "Are you ok?"

He laughed harshly and pulled away from the steering wheel. "Am I ok? Am I ok?" He mocked me using the same voice he used so many times before. I felt tears sting my eyes but I forced them back. Not wanting Jay to see that he got the best of me. "Dammit Em! Why do you do this shit to me! Chester, of all fucking people you had to hook up with Chester!" He screamed bringing his face closer to mine witch each word.

I could feel his hot breath hitting my lips. If I moved just a little closer our lips will touch. Closing my eyes I leaned forward and kissed him gently. Only mending for it to be a peck on the lips but it became a lot more. He moved his lips back against mine just as hungry. Soon he had me pinned up against the door with his hand running down my thigh. I nibbled on his lower lip before pulling back for air.

"Is this want you want?" He asked me clenching my thigh between his big, callused hand. "Another fuck to forget everything!" I tried to moved away from him but he held me in place. Bringing his lips to my ear he started to kiss and nibble the whole time whispering. "Well sorry to burst you bubble em. But I'm not looking for just a fuck!" He hissed pulling the handle on the door and pushing it open. Moving back from me he took his hand off my thigh. "Get out."

I took a hard breath suddenly feeling hot. Man was it hot in here. "W..what?" I ask bringing a shaky hand up to my forehead.

"I said get out of my car!" He spoke calmly but his eyes showed his emotions. Hurt, anger and sadness was swimming through his eyes. I must of not moved fast enough for him cause he growled. "Get out!" He said shoving me out of the car. Making me land on the ground hard.

Standing up I wiped off the dirt from my clothes and took a deep breath. Just a few seconds more and then I can cry. "I hate you Jay Hogart forever!" I screamed at him not caring that a look of hurt flashed over his features before disappearing. He gave me a nod before shutting the door and driving away. When he was out of sight I fell to the ground and cried. Crying out all my emotions.

**A/N:**

Ok I'm sorry that the other two chapters I didn't do spell check. But it was like 11:10 at night and I was so tired so my bad lol. This story is all most over and I just want to say thanks to all my reviewers.! **Go them!!**


	9. Jay's Rant & Emma's Chase

**(Jay's POV)**

Parking the car I took the keys out and threw them against the windshield frustrated. Growling I brought my fist up and hit the wheel over and over again. Till my fist was numb with pain like my heart. How could she? How could that bitch fuckin hook up with Chester! Out of all the people at that school she had to hook up with someone sleezer then me! (And thats saying something!!) Dammit why dose she do this shit to me! I had her and I fuckin pushed her away. Away cause I didn't want a pity fuck. Groaning I pushed open my door and got out making sure to slam the door shut.

"Jay what the fuck is wrong?" I hear Sean ask me but I don't answer him. Walking past him I head inside his small ass apartment and jog up to his room. Throwing open the door I walk over to the fridge and pull out a beer. Pulling back the tab and taking a well needed gulp. Leaning against the fridge I let my eyes scan the small room I was standing in. A worn out couch sat in the middle with a table beside it. A few torn up books lay under the table giving it leverage to stay up. A tv if you want to call it that sits on the green covered carpet floor.

I hear the door open and Sean stands in the door way. "Damn Sean you really need to get a better place." I tell him chugging down the rest of the beer and opening the fridge for another one.

Sean still didn't speak only crossing his arms over his chest. His eyes traveled down to the 'new' beer in Jay's hand. Feeling like he should say something he closed the door and leaned against it. "What happen?"

Jay sighed downing the last few remaining drops of beer before answering. "Do you want the whole story or the shorten version?" He asked not really feeling like telling the 'Whole' story.

"I had a hard day to." Sean wiped his forehead that was glistening with sweat. "So give me the short version."

"I bashed Chester's face in, then Emma came and broke it up. We stormed out of the school and got in this huge fight!" He finished throwing his arms high up in the air. Sean bit his tongue from saying anything smart right then. Jay was at a point where he could go over the edge any minute. "I just don't know what to do about her man!" He sighed defeated, slowly sliding down the fridge to rest on the floor.

Sean rubbed a tired hand over his eyes. He had, had a hard day to. Today his car decided to mess up so he figured he'd take care of it. Though he didn't have the part so he had to travel on foot 6 miles to the gas station and get it. When he finally came back he found out it wasn't the right fit. Groaning and cursing all in hell he went back. Finally after he got it fixed Jay showed up, and he cant deal with Jay's ranting right now. "Jay you and Emma fight like every other day! Cant you two just speak to each other without yelling!" He screamed pointing a finger at him.

"I don't know man..I really don't know." Jay whispered banging is head against the fridge door hard.

Sean walked over to Jay and hauled him up. "Ok here's what your going to do, ok." Jay nodded to him yes. "Your going to go sleep on the couch till you sober up, and then your going to give Emma a call alright. Maybe meet up somewhere and talk things over."

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Emma had ran home and threw open the door. Not caring that it banged against the wall, or if it woke her mother who was currently laying on the couch passed out. Shaking her head at the scene she quickly jogged down to her room and slammed the door closed. "I cant believe him. That asshole!" She screamed picking up the first object she could find and tossing it toward her dresser. It came in contact with a few of her picture frames and crashed into them, breaking the frames glass. "Damn." She whispered shaking her head and walking over to her desk. Looking down at the frames she picked one up and saw it was a picture of her and Jay in the school play. "Why? Why did I have to fall in love with the likes of you?" She asked out loud to know one. The picture was one that was taken right after the curtains closed. Two smiling faces taunted her.

Groaning she picked up the pictures and threw them in the trash can satting beside her wooden desk. _'I cant stay here!'_ Emma thought suddenly feeling the she couldn't breath, and as if the walls were moving in. Looking down at what she was wearing she shook her head. Reaching for her black hoodie that was hanging on the mirror she sliped it on, and laced up her sneakers. Running up the stairs she ran out the door and down the porch. Running down the street she didn't know where she was going all she knew was she had to get away. Away from everything!

She had been running for a good ten minutes till she came to Sean's apartment. She didn't know why she was there but she really could use a beer. Walking up the steps into the apartment building. She ran up the set of stairs to Sean's door. Raising her hand she was just about to knock when the door flew open and almost hit her square in the face. Lucky she moved out of the way just in time. Standing on the other side of the door was someone she really didn't feel like speaking to right then.

"What..." Jay started to speak but Emma was already down the stairs cutting him off in mid sentence. "Shit!' He whispered before taking off after her. He saw the end of her shirt before she disappeared out the front door. "Emma!" He screamed chasing after her.

"Stay away from me!" She screamed running out in the street and turning around to look at him. She gave him a glare that could bury the dead.

"Emma please just hear me out!" Jay screamed wanting nothing more then to take her in his arm. But he knew if he moved any she's just bolt out of there. He had to take it slow.

Emma groaned and threw her arms up in the air. "I'm tired of always hearing you out! Jay your a loser and I never want as much to speak to you again!" She screamed feeling the tears fall from her eyes and onto her red cheeks.

Jay lowered his head feeling lower then dirt. _'She doesnt like you like you like her! She'll never like you!'_ Jay argued in his mind. "I'm sorry Em." He whispered feeling the tears prick his eyes but he was not going to let them fall. Turning around he started the painful walk back to Sean's apartment. Just when he reached the door he heard a screech, and a scream then silence. A feeling of dread over came in. Quickly turning around he screamed out in agony. He prayed his eyes were betraying him. But after blinking a couple of times he knew it was true.

**A/N:**

**I know you all hate me so much right now lol. Cliffhanger! Yeah go me. Some of u smart people can guess what happened, but others cant lol...Cant wait to see what happen next? Well review and I'll post faster! lol Story coming to an end soon. Glad u all love this story so much.**


	10. A Young Life LostThe End

Jay sat huddled in a corner in the waiting room of the local hospital. His hands were covered over his eyes so nobody could see his tears. He still had a reputation to up hold didn't he? He could hear the whimpers of his class mates all around him. Hear the pleas of her parents as they sat holding each other. Every one was there. Ellie was holding Seany boys hand. Ashley was near them. Totally ignoring the fact that Manny was all over Craig. Paige was crying into Spinners shoulder. Her brother trying to give Marco some comfort at his time of need. Jimmy's hands were balled into his fist as he stared straight ahead.

Jay just wanted to scream out. To let out all of his emotions that were building up inside of him. He couldn't believe that his Emma. The only person that he truly cared for in the world was laying in a hospital bed with wires all pluged inside of her. He couldn't take it anymore. If she died...he'd be nothing. He'd have nothing to live for anymore. He thought as more angry tears stung his eyes. Shaking his head he jumped up. He needed to get out of there. Needed some air. As he jumped up Sean's head turned toward him. He asked him a question with his eyes but Jay only shook his head as he moved toward the door. Just before he opened it he moved quickly back toward Emma's parents and bent down on his knees in front of her mother.

He moved his hands to cover hers witch were in her lap. "I'm so sorry." He whispered staring into her eyes. Not caring if she or anybody else saw the tears that fell from them. All Spike could do was nod her head before placing it back on Snake's shoulder. Her sobs growing silent soon after.

Jay stood back up and wiped his pants legs off. He turned and stared at the many confused faces before quickly turning around and practically running out of the room. He slammed the hospital door behind him. Not caring that a nurse and doctor both yelled at him to come back. Not caring that he was getting many weird looks from people on the street as he cursed out loud, or roughly ran a hand through his hair. He needed someone at that moment. Needed someone that wouldn't judge him if he cried or punched a hole into a wall. Someone that wouldn't expect much from him.

He walked quickly as fast as he could to the one place where  
he could finally break down. What if she did die? All fingers would be pointed his way. Shaking his head he felt the tears once again sting his eyes. No he wasn't going to cry right now. Taking a deep breath he bit his bottom lip as he stared out into the night sky. Why did he have to go chasing after her? If he would of just left her alone none of this would be happening. Damn him and his stupid heart. He saw the small apartment building up ahead and hurried up. Running up the run down stairs he moved toward the door that was marked with a marker numbered 22. Lifting a shaky hand he formed it into a fist and started to pound onto the door. Not caring if he woke up everyone else in the damn apartment. He kept pounding on the door for a good ten minutes before the door finally was yanked open. Standing on the other side was a very mad looking Alex. She was clad in a pair of booty shorts and a stained white tank top. Placing her hands on her hips she gave Jay a very angry look.

"What do you want?" She asked him still mad that he had ran out on her a few days ago. Sighing, she took one look at him. Really looked at him and moved out of the doorway. Placing a finger to her lips she 'shoo' him as she closed the door behind her. She quickly grabbed his arm in a gental grip and pulled him behind her as she moved toward her small bedroom. Her stepfather passed out on the couch, cans of beer lining the table. Jay lowered his head in shame. He remembered that man all to well. Him and Jay hit it off all too well, but her stepfather had a problem of hitting them both. Shaking his head he walked into Alex's small closet size room and shut the door behind him.

Alex lowered herself onto the bed and pulled her legs up to her chest and held them they're by wrapping her arms around them. She stared at Jay who was paceing back and forth on her carpet. She cleared her throat thinking that would get his attention but that didn't. "Jay whats wrong?" She asked him softly knowing something was really up for him to bother coming back.

He lifted his head from staring at the ground, and thats when Alex saw the tears streaming down his cheeks. Her eyes opened wide and she jumped up off the bed and hurried over to him. Jay grabbed on to her and held her to him as if she was his life line. She whispered soothing words to him as his legs gave out and they both went crashing to the ground. She wrapped an arm around his waist and held onto him and started to run her fingers through his hair. She was shocked. She had never seen Jay this upset. Well once before and that was when he found out his mother wasn't coming back home. She remembered how upset he was during the funeral and afterwards. Moving a hand underneath his chin she lifted his head up slowly.

"Jay baby you've got to tell me whats wrong so I can make it better." She whispered feeling her own voice crack. Gosh she hated seeing him so upset. It always seemed to make her upset.

Jay shook his head more tears coming to his eyes at the thought. "No..no!" He screamed reaching up and grabbing onto her shoulders tight as if she was trying to tear away from him. That only made her hold him tighter. "You cant make it better." He whispered as another sob broke through him.

Alex rubbed his back and continued to hold him for quiet a while. At least till his sobs died down and the only reminder of tears on his face were the streaks of wetness down his cheeks. She lifted his head up once again and leaned forwards kissing his lips quickly. She was about to pull back but Jay held her to him and kissed her with such passion. She ran her fingers through his hair and moaned into the kiss. He had never kissed her like this before. Usually he would give her a peck and told her to go get a real boyfriend if she wanted a kiss. Once he pulled away she almost whimpered but got control of herself. Licking her lips she cleared her throat before speaking. "So are you going to tell me what is wrong with you now?" She asked him for like the third time since he had came to her house.

Jay closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths before telling Alex everything. He told her about how him and Emma had a secret relationship. How he screwed everything up with her. Then how she had came to see Sean and ended up seeing him. How she had ran away from him and then she got hit by a car. "She's going to die because of me!" He screamed not caring anymore if he woke up her stepfather or her mother.

Alex's eyes opened wide and she shooed him before jumping up from the floor. She slowly cracked open the door and stuck her head out only to hear snores. Sighing, she took a few deep breaths before moving back down toward the floor where Jay was. She shook her head and lifted a hand up to run it through her hair. "Jay...she's not going to die..I promise you." She said softly.

"Don't promise things you cant keep Lexi." He said softly moving to run his hands up and down her back. He gave her a small smile before leaning forwards onces again and placing another kiss on her lips. This one shorter then the last. He pulled back and placed his foreheads on hers. "I need to go back to the hospital." He whispered. She nodded her head about to open her mouth but Jay placed a finger over her lips stopping her from speaking. "I'll tell you how things go." He said softly before hurrying out the door and tip toeing threw the front room and then running down the stairs. He got to the hospital a few minutes later.

* * *

Once Jay had entered the waiting room he was meet with only a few faces this time. Most of the people had left the hospital. Only leaving her close friends JT, Manny, Toby, and Sean. He sighed and moved to take a seat next to Sean. Placing a hand on his shoulder he spoke. His voice coming out horse due to all the crying he had done. "Where's her parents man?" He asked softly.

Sean turned his head toward Jay and shook his head. "They're in there with her man." He took a long pause. As if he was thinking over his next words. "When the doctor came out to talk to her parents he didn't have a good expression of his face." He said shaking his head as his hands clenched into fist. Memories of all the hell he had put her through was running through his head making angry tears leak out at the sides.

Jay almost wanted to scream out that news. He was hoping for some good news but that sure as hell wasn't good news. Jay turned away from Sean knowing that he had lost him to his memories. He looked over at the other three, and saw that they were all huddled together and they were crying. Sighing he turned toward the doors and stared at them. Well more like glared at them. As if he stared long enough it would solve all of his problems.

He had sat like that for a few minutes. Just staring at the door before it was opened and in stepped her parents. They both had sad looks on they're face. Her mother was crying a lot harder then she had before, and Snake was trying to calm her down as tears fell from his eyes. Jay jumped up from his seat and rushed over to them. Standing in front of them he spoke calmly. "Ms. Nelson." He spoke softly trying to get her attention. But she never did look up Snake did speak though, but his voice was very low and sorrow filled. "Kids.." He started catching the attention of every teen in the room. "Emma...Emma's not going to make it." He said trailing off as Spike broke out in sobs once again. He held her tighter and whispered soothing words to her as his tears fell onto her head.

Lifting his head up again he took a few deep breaths. Staring over Jay's shoulder he finished up what he had to say. "The doctors said she had too much internal bleeding, and that they're was no way he could save her." At those words Jay felt his heart stop beating. He felt cold inside as he stood in front of her parents and waited to hear some good news. He must have some good news to tell them. "The doctors think its best if you guys go in and say your goodbyes so Spike and me can spend the night with her." He said moving Spike and himself over to two vacant seats. Once the words you guys were out of his mouth Jay had already started for the door. He ignored Sean's protest as to why he got to go in as he rushed down the hall way and into the room he had watched them take her to. He stood outside of her door way for a while taking calming breaths. He was scared of what he would see once he opened the door. Scared of what kind of condition she was in.

Pushing open the door his breath caught in his throat at what he saw. She was laying in bed her eyes closed and so many wires connected to her. Machines of all kind were lined up around the bed and were beeping like mad. He moved quickly over to her side and reached out grabbing her hand that was laying on her chest. She looked so peaceful asleep he thought as he felt just how cold her hand really was.

He felt tears once again reach his eyes but he held them back. He was not going to cry in front of the women that he loved. Yes, he loved her. At that thought the tears fell with out stopping. He bent down beside her bed and held onto her hand tightly not wanting to let go at all. He placed his head on her chest and started to speak. At first his voice came out all crack since he had been crying so much. But after clearing it for a few seconds it started to sound normal.

"ohh baby." He whispered bringing her hand up to his lips and kissed his gently. "Please don't leave me..please I never meant to hurt you at all." He begged not caring if anybody heard him or if they came inside. "Its all my fault." He whispered over and over again once he realized that she wasn't going to wake up and speak to him. She wasn't going to give him the satisfaction to hear her voice once more. "Please sweetie if you live I swear I wont ever come around you again..Ever!" He begged standing up now and bending down to place kisses all over her face. He felt as if his heart was breaking into a million pieces. Felt his blood run cold, and his life slowly drain from his body. He stayed with her for a little while longer. In fact he wanted to stay with her forever. But Sean had came in and practically dragged him out as Manny and the others went in to say goodbye.

"Cool it man!" Sean yelled at him running a hand through his already messy hair.

Jay glared at him and shoved him away from him. The force of the shove sent Sean flying into the wall behind him. Jay about growled at him as he moved to stand in front of Sean and grabbed him by the collar of his shirt. "Listen here man!" He growled out feeling anger take over his control. "Dont tell me to cool off...you dont know what its like to have the love of your life laying in there dieing!" He growled out before moving away from Sean and almost running over a nurse as he headed toward the door.

Sean shook his head and closed his eyes as tight as they would go. Sliding down the floor he sat there up against the wall in the middle of the hospital hallway. Reaching up with a shaky hand he ran it over his face. "Yes I do." He whispered under his breath as more tears came to his eyes.

**THE END!**

**7-31-07**


	11. Arthur Note

Ok I just want to say thanks to everybody that stuck through with me and reviewed my story. Thank you for keeping with me even though I only like updated everyone in a while..I just want to say that this is my first ever real story and I finished it...Soo Im like soo happy right now! I'm on cloud nine lol..yep...anyways.

I've been thinking about this and I want to add another story to this one..um..i forget what its called but whatever lol..it'll be the second story in this series. And I already have some ideas inside of my mind I just dont know when I'll get to that or if I ever will. Im going into tenth grade now and Im very busy. With school coming up and sports..so I just dont know yet. Though this isn't the last time you've heard of me lol.

I know it took me forever to start and then update this story. But I promise Im gonna start updating and writing more stories a lot faster now..cause im getting sick of doing all of this too..well anyways..

**THANKS EVERYONE!**

**Your the reason I keep writing**

**soo keep reviewing ok!**

**Rustyoldpen...aka Anna!**


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